umm just don't know

Well tomorrow I start at Curves at Edgeworth. Which is going to be interesting because it is so different to what I know.

I have so much on in the next weeks. I have uni assignment due, car rally to help organise and run, job to leave, weight loss meetings to attend and doctors appointment plus lots and lots of other stuff that I think I have blocked out of my head for the moment due to it being too traumatic to remember it all.

Exercise Buddy

Well I have made the move out of my home base Curves at Wallsend, to Curves Edgeworth. I have made the move for a few reasons. A girl I work with goes to Edgeworth and wanted an exercise buddy so now that I am now working full time at West Wallsend I drive past it everyday so it made sense and they open earlier so I get more time at the pool. I don't think Vennice knows what she is in for exercising with me, but will be good having someone else there.

My weight loss seems to have stalled again which is giving me the shits. I don't think my last fill has done much at all but I'm glad I didn't get too much as that would have been a disaster.

I am struggling big time juggling uni work and housework and life work. I feel I am getting to the end of my tether but I just have to keep trudging....

Ukky

Anyone who gets queasy look away now.....I think since I have lost weight my periods have been getting worse. I feel as though my uterus is trying to fall out. I didn't go to the gym or pool today as I felt so ukky. I hope I am just going through a faze cos a hysterectomy is looking real good about now.

I am hoping my weight won't blow out cos I am feeling so crappy. I will attempt to go to everything again tomorrow!!

Need some more hours in the day and energy

Hi all, well I stepped on the scales this morning and I have lost another few grams bringing it to 12.4kg lost. I just wish I had more time in the day to fit everything in. I get up at 5am check emails and other stuff, have breakfast, leave for curves about 6am I'm there till 6.45ish then to the pool and I'm there till about 8am then off to work. I'm home from work about 5.30-6pm then I have dinner do some hand weights in front of TV or in bed and then I am so tired from doing all that, that I find it difficult to be able to get motivated to do any uni work and I'm so tired that I am in bed by 8.30pm. I am running out of time to do everything, so the house is a mess, I am so behind in everything and I am getting down in the dumps about it all. I am so over it all that it would be so easy to give it all up and go back to the easy life of shift work in the hospital with good pay again, rallying on the weekends and family life again. I enjoy going to the gym and I know where the uni course is going to get me but it is giving me hell just getting there. I work in the Doctors offices so I have a Monday to Friday day job, but the pay is crap and I feel I am losing my clinical skills, but I do have my weekends and evenings free but unfortunately they don't pay the bills or help to get savings in the bank. Oh woe is me that is my whinge for the day.....................

Another .3ml in

Well I have had another .3ml put in so I now have 5.7mls and I have made an appointment for 1 month to go back and probably have some more depending how I go. Bronwyn (the guru/dietitian) was really happy with how I was going so that was really pleasing to hear. She said I just need to lose another 5 kg by September and I will be at their average weight loss, ummm I think I can do it!!!

Fill Day

Well I have another appointment with Dr Azzie and Bronwyn this afternoon for hopefully some more fill. The only time I have been having issues is when I am stressed (usually uni work) or not concentrating. I can eat bread, steak, lettuce, basically everything except tomato and I'm even getting better with chicken!!I will hopefully post another report tonight after fill. Have a great day!!

My day

Well today I have weighed myself this morning and I now have lost 12.1 kg. Which is great except that I'm still having big issues with my self esteem and and self image. I am having trouble stepping out of the big morbid super obese me and into the big morbid obese me. My husband gave me a $100 to go shopping for clothes this morning but I couldn't find anything I liked or more importantly felt comfortable in, which means I got the shits with my self and Brendon got the shits with me for not stepping out on a limb and just getting stuff. Oh well my battle with the bulge and my mind will continue....

11.7kg gone forever

Well I got on the scales this morning and I have lost some more weight finally. I had hit the plateau for a while there. I was thinking that all the extra gym and pool stuff was all for nothing but now the light at the end of the tunnel is a little brighter and a little closer. I am now feeling a little better about the whole saga that is my life, now down with the weight and up with the weight loss attitude.

So over it all

Well I realised today that I hadn't posted in a week so thought I had better. Weekend was a bit of disaster hubby and I had HUGE fight. Monday unremarkable went to gym, pool, work, Tuesday nothing spectacular gym pool work. Wednesday gym pool work and went to weight loss surgery support group meeting after work and met 2 lovely dietitians for some other surgeons. Got home about 10pm and attempted to do some uni work and failed to keep my eyes open, went to bed about 11pm. Couldn't wake up in time for the gym and pool the next morning. Today I went to gym pool and work and now Im buggered. I have so much uni work and house work to catch up on its not funny. I have been PBing a lot at home with dinner, not fun. I will be starting a 6 week solution program at curves from the 16th of this month.

I will attempt to blog more and make it more interesting.